15

​When you’re a teenager you’re too young to have feelings for someone. When you’re 15 years old, you don’t know about love or real feelings. That’s what they say. They tell you that it’s not possible for you to love another person. They expect you to have a crush on someone for probably a few months and they expect you to be over someone within a month. If you like the same person over years, people look at you like you’re the biggest weirdo. That’s why you don’t expect things to be real. Once you fall for someone, you tell yourself that you’re only 15. You tell yourself that it’s not love. It’s just a crush. And when someone leaves, you don’t expect it to hurt. You’re too young for that.

And then he breaks your heart. And it hits you. Feels hit you like a wave and you feel like drowning. You’re stuck somewhere between feeling the worst emotional pain ever and feeling nothing. You see him being with her and it like drops. You feel your heart dropping. You feel empty, your body goes numb except for the pressure on your chest. Heartbreak is a physical pain that is just as real as the emotional ache.
And when you’re a teenager, everybody tells you that you don’t know about love. Whenever you try and talk to someone, they play it down. They’re telling you it’s just a random crush and you’re going to forget him anytime soon. And when you still talk about him after months, you’re stupid, clingy and exaggerating.

And yes, maybe I will look back at this in a few years and maybe I’ll laugh, because I was so naive.
But right now, in this very moment, I am in pain even though I am only some teenager.

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