How to love yourself 

If you’re tired of hearing quotes about self-love, like “you can’t be loved until you learn to love yourself”, you’re not alone. 

I think we all know what it’s like to love another person. The feeling of intense desire and admiration are likely familiar. But loving ourselves? That can feel like a foreign concept to many of us. Self-love means self-acception and self-awareness, but also kindness and respect for ourselves.

To love yourself, you have to improve your inner voice. Start simple. Try to think positive. Do not assume, the worst can happen. It’s easy to fall into the assumption that the very worst outcome will happen with every situation. Change your inner thoughts to be realistic or truthful. Notice and appreciate, if something turns out to be better than you expected. And don’t ever call yourself names. Never say things like “I’m so stupid” or “I’m such a loser”. Instead, tell yourself you’re beautiful. Tell yourself you’re worth it. Tell yourself you can do this. Avoid perfectionism. If you find yourself feeling negatively, because you are less than perfect, take one simple step. Change your focus from the final product to the effort behind a task. It can help you appreciate your own work.

Discard your negative filter. Focussing only on the negatives in your life is a bad habit. Whenever you’re standing in front of the mirror, try to notice the things you like about yourself. You may have gained some weight or you may have big thighs, but there has to be something you’re liking about your body. Maybe your boobs or your hair or even small things like your eyes or the way your nose is shaped. Notice that and focus on that. Avoid things that encourage stereotypical ideas, such as beauty magazines. And whenever someone compliments you, just say “Thank you.” and smile. Don’t ask things like “Do you really think so?”. Just accept it. But never ever let others define your worth. This seems to be simple, but it can be very hard. Sadly we live in a time, where we are given many messages suggesting us we’re only as good as others appraisal of us, especially our outer apperance.

Always keep in mind, that you’re not alone. Every single person in this planet makes mistakes. Every person feels insecure sometimes. It’s normal. You’re allowed to fall. You’re allowed to make mistakes. Don’t hate yourself for that. No one’s perfect. 2 months from today, it probably won’t matter anymore. We are all weird in one way or another and there is nothing wrong with that. 

Give yourself the gift of time. Spend time reflecting about yourself and your own life. It’s not like waking up and suddenly loving yourself. It takes time and you will slowly learn to accept yourself.

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